I usually write in Spanish and then the post is properly translated and adapted by my patient friend Diana. Today I need to do it in english, so I apologize for slaughtering the beautiful language of Shakespeare. This need comes from the fact that I just cant help but thinking of New York City. Fucking Sandy this hurricane bitch has done nothing but invading the city shamelessly and with no mercy whatsoever. I'm upset and sad and embarrassed of being miles away enjoying the spring weather that lovingly caress the city of Cuernavaca -Mexico- all year round. I feel I should be there. Every time something happens (hurricanes, snow storms, etc) I manage to be lucky enough to be away. This probably sounds kinda stupid to a Newyorker's ears but the way I feel about this city has nothing to do with what a native feels. I decided to live there. I made it my home. New York has given me plenty of good things and now that its suffering Im like, hey too bad for you, Im in Mexico lindo! (not so "lindo" by the way, but that will come in another post). Thing is, as an immigrant I suffer from what I call the "immigrant symptom" which is basically the lack of roots and the feeling of not belonging anywhere. There's no land I can see as "mine". I will never fully integrate in the American society (not that I feel I need it) and I will never feel Spain as my home (not that I felt that when I was living there either). But the reality is that New York is the closest thing I can consider home. So not being there when things get fucked up makes me feel that I'm betraying the city and its inhabitants. For all of you thinking "this guy must be nuts", you try and emigrate to another country, live there for 7 years, and then we'll talk. Quoting E.B. White: Commuters give the city its tidal restlessness, natives give it solidity and continuity, but the settlers give it passion. Well I'm one of those guys, a settler. And I wish this motherfucking Sandy would have never landed in my city.
I miss you all (natives, commuters and settlers) and I hope you are ok.